Look at my tits and buy fizzy pop
At the close of the ceremony, host LL Cool J read out a collective statement from record label bosses stating that the music industry was being merged into advertising.
He said: ?There is no money in this shit any more, except for sponsorship from fizzy pop companies.
?In the past, singers and instrument-players have followed their own wayward agenda, with values that could be described as ?artistic?.
?However we now realise that ?artistic? values often do not serve the core brand values of fizzy pop makers.
?So we declare the music industry officially over. Henceforth it will be known as ?soundvertising?.
?Now here?s Beyonce with her soundvert, Drink More Fizzy Pop (It Tastes Nice).?
Music critic Roy Hobbs said: ?It was probably for the best. Half of music sales last year were from people buying One Direction in an ironic way.
?If you want art, there?s still books and pictures.?
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